Let's Talk About Mental Health
Just as much as with physical health, where we are in our mental health is variable, not fixed, and we’ll all have occasions when we're mentally healthier than others (although not everyone will face issues significant enough to require treatment).
There is a growing mental health crisis in young people across the UK. This hasn’t been caused by the Covid-19 crisis, but certainly 2020 has exacerbated the problem, not least the changes over the last few days to our Christmas plans. Children, youth, and teenagers are struggling, and we need to be able to talk to our children so we can support them, love them, care for them, whatever they may be going through.
This crisis hasn’t suddenly appeared. The new 21st Century ingredients of social media, phone addiction and pornography on tap have contributed very significantly. Also, our children are growing up into a scary world – they’re constantly told about ecological crisis (an 'extinction event' according to Sir David Attenborough this year), daily death tolls, racial conflict, terror alerts, No Deal Brexit, economic disasters to come... it's no wonder they're feeling anxiety - by comparison, most of us grew up into a post-Cold War world full of relative hope.
It’s also naïve to think that Christian children, including ours, are immune. Over the years we’ve come across children and youth who are Christians and are depressed, anxious, and self-harming. Sadly, we also know of some who have committed suicide. UK wide statistics (from before Covid-19) say that up to half 14-15-year olds feel miserable, a quarter self-critical, and 8% experiencing suicidal thoughts. This is hugely significant. (Source GP Notebook – Oxford Solutions)
We’re not immune. Some of us will have suffered from depression, are currently suffering, or will at some point suffer. 1 in 5 (20%) of the population will suffer from depression at some point int heir life. It is not sinful to be depressed.
So, what do we need to do?
Firstly, recognise you’re not alone if your child is suffering, there is help and support for you and them
We need to support each other as parents
We need to talk to our children about their emotional wellbeing and mental health
We need to include medical professionals when needed
We need to recognise it is more than solely a spiritual or a psychological or physiological issue – mental health is impacted by all three areas
We need to pray
We need to seek God’s wisdom and care
It’s ok to not be ok!
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Resources:
The Psalms – God – for all! – God has provided what we need to express our deepest and darkest feelings and emotions, let him help you
Why do I feel like this? – Rachel Lane – for 11+ and adults – open and honest biographical account from Rachel about her own struggles as a teenager. It’s gentle, supportive, and practical – great for all our teenagers to read, and for parents to understand what might be going on.
Specific feedback from a King’s Church teenager – Easy to understand and digest. Perfect! Useful even if you’ve never struggled because it gives you a perspective on how it is for others and how to go about helping and understanding them and pointing them to the Lord. She is so real when she writes. I DEFINITELY would recommend this book to anyone (maybe 12+). It is such a useful and important book to read. (Emphasis original!)
A new name – Emma Scrivener – 14+ and adults – Emma talks openly about her battle with anorexia in her teenage years and later as an adult – very moving and helpful
When darkness seems my closest friend – Mark Meynell – for adults – Mark is a pastor and has written clearly about the struggles he has faced
Psalms albums – Matt Searles – sometimes reading feels too much, especially if you’re depressed – listening to music can help – Matt has written a series of albums (some have accompanying devotional books) to help those who are dealing with depression and other struggles – find out more here
Why am I feeling like this? - A Teen's Guide to Freedom from Anxiety and Depression - David Murray – short, clear, practical, helpful chapters on a large number of different triggers of anxiety and depression – not all chapters will be relevant, but easy to work out which are for your teenager – parents read this in conjunction with the book below
Why is my teenager feeling like this? - A Guide for Helping Teens through Anxiety and Depression - David Murray – clear and practical book to help parents understand what a teenager with depression is going through and some of the reasons. Companion book to the one above – contains the same material as the one for teens but with some extra helpful sections for parents. Also, practically sets out several ways that these books could help you and your teenager – recognises that one size doesn’t fit all so helps you work through what might work for you and your family.
5 questions to ask your teenager simple, practical, short blog post about talking to our teenager about their anxiety.
Kris Dryden – Co-Mission Safeguarding officer – has recommended these resources
Emotions - a creative journal for families - Really helpful for those with younger children
Lock down, Coronavirus and teenage mental health - useful website for parents with teenagers
Mental health and why is it important for your family? – lots of help around all areas of health, including mental health – simple, yet links to lots of other helpful content.