The Powerful Parable of Marriage
The Power of Parables
When we think of the way Jesus taught, one of the first words that jumps into our mind is: parables. Teaching in parables accounts for more than one third of all Jesus’ teaching recorded for us in the Gospels. To pick up on just one of the reasons Jesus used parables so often – they are powerful. They allow us to quickly get his main point by using comparison and story-telling – two things we’re very familiar with! Take for example, the parable of the pearl of great value:
‘The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.’ Matthew 13:45-46
Comparison and story-telling combine to show us that God’s kingdom is infinitely valuable and we should do everything we can for the sake of it. Parables are powerful.
The Parable of Marriage
If we are married today, we have the privilege of living in a parable – for that is ultimately what marriage is. Marriage is compared by the Apostle Paul to the relationship between Jesus and his church and marriage tells the story of our union with Jesus.
We read in Ephesians 5:31-32,
‘”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.’
Of all the things we could say about marriage – good or bad – this is by far the most critical thing for us to try and wrap our heads around. Understanding that the grand and God-given purpose of every marriage is to show the world a picture of Jesus and his church takes us out of our small, self-centred world and elevates our thinking way beyond the day to day stuff of married life. Not because we want to escape the day to day but so that we can be reoriented within our day to day. In the small microcosm of the universe occupied by us and our marriages, we have the opportunity to give ourselves up for the sake of another just like Jesus gave himself up for his church. The potential impact on my day to day married life by simply remembering this is immense.
If we get the purpose of marriage wrong, if we elevate the blessings of it - love, family, stability, trust – and treat these things as the purpose; where will we be if those blessings are taken away? We will be left aimless, tossed about by our circumstances and emotions, and unable to see a way through. We will see our marriages as a place where we are owed these things rather than as a place for us to give, and give with great sacrifice just as Jesus gave for his church. Jesus offers our marriages an anchor that will keep them steadfast to the end – yes, He himself is our anchor – but in a very particular way, He anchors our marriages in the reality of his love for his church.
None of this is to belittle the very real pain and suffering many experience in their marriages – knowing this great purpose doesn’t take all that away nor does it excuse it. But with the purpose of marriage at the forefront of our minds, we have the ability to see our own sin and not just the sins committed against us. I am part of the church that Jesus suffered and died for, my sin led him to the cross. What amazing grace has been shown to me, what forgiveness, what sacrificial love! Did I earn it? Do I deserve it? No, on the contrary I deserve death and hell! With these eyes, with this perspective – can we look at our marriages, the good and the bad, and see where we can reflect this unfailing love to the world by offering it to our spouse – freely offering it - just as it has been offered to us?
United to Jesus, and each other
Our marriages tell the story of our union with Jesus – as we become one flesh with our spouse in marriage, so we are one in spirit with Jesus by faith. Being united with Jesus by faith is to be so entwined, so utterly bound, that when the Father looks on us, he sees us ‘in Christ.’ All of the blessings in life and for eternity are ours ‘in Christ’. It is the unshakeable and foundational reality of our life that by faith we are ‘in Christ.’ There is no coming or going, if we are in him now we will be in him till the end. This is not only the story we tell with our marriages but it is also the basis on which we are empowered to tell it, and tell it well. Strengthened by the knowledge of being bound to Jesus for ever, we are free to bind ourselves to our spouses in the here and now.
Paul acknowledges there is profound mystery in ‘the parable of marriage’. Typically ‘mystery’ is used in the Bible to describe something that was hidden in the Old Testament and brought to light in the New Testament – which is exactly the case with Jesus and his church. But, I think we can also take him to mean that there really is profound mystery in the way our marriages imitate and reflect Jesus and his church, so we shouldn’t be surprised that we can’t fully wrap our heads around this. And that’s ok. But let’s strive to really see our marriages through the lens of God’s grand purpose for them and be the embodiment and witness to the greatest love story every told, Jesus and his church.
